im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
