Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
