I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Quick, to the slutcave!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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