Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
