Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
