i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
