Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
