I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
