dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
