yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
