She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
