But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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