wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
