You're completely useless in the revolution.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i will never coherently bang her
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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