1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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