Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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