good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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