Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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