smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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