Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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