i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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