i barfeds in our rink
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
