We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So much rum. So many feels.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize