I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
