I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
