Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
