I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
