I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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