I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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