I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
