Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
