In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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