we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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