i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
