i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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