A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My ass is underappreciated
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
