yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
