are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
