u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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