On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
