I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
