Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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