My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
