Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
