i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
