yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
