dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
