I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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