well I can't set my house on fire every night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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