It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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