Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
