doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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