I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize