why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
