just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
