idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
