Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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