I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
