Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
