Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
