wat bout pragnant strippers??
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You've changed since you got that strap on
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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