Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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